Whore Sauce

I'm told that "Putanesca" means "whore sauce." Reputedly in Italy if one was engaging a sex worker for a session, a meal afterwards was part of the deal and that meal would be something you could throw into a pot, go off and

"do your business" and 20 minutes later the chow would be ready to serve, be eaten and clear the deck for the next engagement.

A gay opera singer in Washington DC made this for me by chopping up an onion, throwing it into a very hot pot with mebbe 2-3 TBS olive oil until it started to carmelize, then throw in a full large can of tomato juice and let it reduce for 20 minutes. We had a lovely, lively conversation in that space of time. Ahem!

Over the years I've noted restaurants having a variety of much more elaborate versions of this. Typically called "Spaghetti Putanesca" but Osteria LaVechia in Newtown PA calls it "feminina" -- this eatery having many paintings and photos of Padre Pio adorning its walls. So I can dig where they're coming from with this more genteel name for the selfsame dish.

The version I'ma run down recognizes the fact that a lot of folks in the midAtlantic states have had to bring in the last of the tomato crops in their home gardens - many more than they can eat before they go funky. And YES, you could can 'em, make sauce out of 'em and put that up. When I retire I may do that in myself. But for folks who still work full time, here's a quick and easy way of utilizing tomatoes and making a delicious and somewhat offbeat dish - that you may not want to explain if you've got youngsters in yr household. Or dowdy relatives/friends.

MUSIC: Afterhours "I milanesi ammazzano il sabato" (the Milanese kill Saturday - meaning, party it on down!) Ingredients *1 cup of halved cherry tomatoes, or diced regular tomatoes *1/2 cup sliced or diced onions *1/4 cup diced olives (dealing with the pits if they gots pits) *1 TBS capers *1/2 head garlic *3 TBS olive oil *spaghetti *1 TBS oregano *1 tsp basil

Preparation *start heating water for spaghetti *add olive oil to cast iron pan, pot, whatever you got and head over medium high heat *chop and add tomatoes (the time it takes to prep tomatoes is enough for oil to heat up nicely) *chop and add onions (again, the timing works out nice coz you want tomatoes to cook the longest); give the whole mess a good stirring *put half head of garlic in microwave for 1 minute, then you can normally squeeze each clove right into pan with other ingredients; stir thoroughly into the other ingredients *chop and add olives; stir thoroughly into other ingredients *add capers stir thoroughly into other ingredients *if you're cooking spaghetti up fresh, add spaghetti to (by now) boiling water; if you're using leftover spaghetti just heap it on top of the sauteing vegetables, turn heat down to medium; spaghetti with heat via steaming *let cook for another 5 minutes *use tongs to serve spaghetti, then spoon sauteed vegetables over it. FIN!

A Cheesey, Cheese-less trick

This is a quickie -- since Summer I've been eating a lot of rice cakes for snack food (dealing with a bit of a gut). And being a cheap bastard I buy the store brand of cheddar cheese flavored rice cakes. 44 calories each! And of course you chase one of these with a big glass of water, very filling!

But I have tried the Quaker Oats version and, naturally they ARE tastier, mainly cheesier and more expensive.

So I've been making due. But one day, as an experiment, I decided to sprinkle on a tiny bit of Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning - to give it a little heat. And it did that AND somehow ratcheted up the quotient of cheese flavor! I'm not sure how; perhaps it's the salt and the garlic powder buttressing related components of the basic cheese taste medley. BUT IT DOES WORK.

Squashed for Time

This is gonna be quick coz it's a work day and I busted this recipe out spontaneously

MUSIC: You Ain't Good For Nuthin - mixtape created by David Wyckoof esq of Nashville TN

If you follow my FB page you'll have noted that we've got a wealth of huge butternut squashes growing out of a vine that sprouted out of our compost pile. And the pile keeps growing despite giving these away to various folks at a decent rate. And there's one that's been sitting and getting funky looking on the outside so I've been thinking about taking it on for a couple days now, to use it before it goes bad.

So I started by peeling it (a mistake as there're lovely enzymes in the peel and flesh that basically acts like a chemical peel on your skin - nothing painful or especially unsightly, but WEIRD), cutting it into 3/4 inch slices, laying them out on a lightly oiled pan and baking at 350* F for 45 minutes (in several batches in this case). Amy likes to just cut the squash in half and baking it with the skin on, and then scooping the flesh out which is cool, but I pointedly wanted to scorch it a bit.

Next I pureed the cooked squash (adding vegetable broth to help it mash up nice and smooth), adding two fresh jalapeno (picked off a plant we rescued from my mother-in-law's backyard), and then dumped it all into a pot of vegetable broth (in this case I prepped that -- as per a previous installment of Garbage Gourmet -- and had a fresh batch to work with.

Then I chopped and browned some onions (to carmelize a bit and bolster the carmelization on the squash) and added that.

Chopped and added a stalk of celery (just because)

added 2 Tablespoons of salt

a Tablespoon of nutmeg

a Tablespoon of allspice

AND THEN -- I had a creamless cream soup in mind and this was looking a little thin, so I grabbed some french fries left over from a weekend dinner out, pureed them (adding some soup to add in the process) and added that to the pot.

VOILA - it's very hearty, has a slight sweetness, the kinda earthy spiciness of the nutmeg and allspice

The Virtue of Parsimony

This is not my recipe at all. I'm posting it as an object lesson in the virtue of holding onto scraps and leftovers even if you can't readily imagine their use and

detailing methods of preserving them at length for possible future use. Some of this will no doubt horrify germ-o-phobes. When I was a kid I didn't get snack money for school - I got a sandwich in a paper bag. And I was walking around and saw someone had dropped potato chips or Cheez Doodles on the pavement and they looked clean, I et 'em, never having any negative reactions; probably building up my immune system to frightening levels of resistance.

The recipe comes from John Gros keyboardist of the quasi-recently disbanded New Orleans funk band Papa Grows Funk (an, uh, "enthusiatic" judger of wares offered at the annual Po' Boy Fest on Oak Street).

INGREDIENTS
3-4 lb. chuck roast
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
seasoning salt
pepper
I was recently cleaning the basement in preparation for plumbers replacing some pipes an found a box of spices from the 60's. I looked 'em over, gave each jar lookover and a sniff and if nothing seemed amiss, mixed them in with more recently purchased spices. Dunno if I'd sprinkle these on top a salad or some mashed 'taters, but used in casseroles, soups etc. they're doing me just fine.
1 onion, chopped

1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
I don't use celery THAT often and frankly one bag lasts me for perhaps 10 recipes or more and getting thru it could take 3 months or more, a length of time which SHOULD far exceed the fridge life of a bunch of celery, BUT I've found (tipped by my mother-in-law) that if you wrap the bunch in a piece of paper towel that you then wet, and periodically re-wet, this stuff CAN last 3 months looking totally fine. It's good to seal the plastic bag it likely came in with a paper clips, rubber band, etc. It seems that it's dehydration that brings on spoilage in this case.
10-12 garlic cloves, chopped
OF COURSE I save all the onion and garlic skins, pepper seed balls, celery leaves etc, freeze 'em and save for making vegetable broth.
1/4 cup oil
1/2 cup flour
2 cups beef stock

This is the part I'm especially proud of. We went out for dinner when Amy came home from doing the Tough Mudder Obstacle race in Ohio and the specials included beef ribs. Now, I LOVE ribs, but I don't eat pork for quirky ethical reasons, so I jumped at the this offering. They were tasty too! And when the waitress came to clear the table Amy asked -- "are you gonna take those bones home?" which I would automatically do if it were chicken; and I thought - WHY NOT! So these ribs have been sitting in my freezer ever since, slated for inclusion in veggie broth when I start making borscht again. BUT I note that ya use beef stock here and grabbed the bones, a stalk of 2 mo. old celery and a 3 mo. old carrot (likewise preserved with the wet paper towel method). And VOILA!
2 cups red wine
I assume everyone gets well intentioned gifts of relatively undrinkable wine at holidays. This is the perfect way to use em other than giving them out to needy winos; and there's no shame in that neither.
2 TBSP worchestershire sauce
1 bay leaf

MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT: anything by Papa Grows Funk or perhaps Larry Williams' Bad Boy collection (you'll note how many of his songs were covered by The Beatles - probably more than of any other artist - excepting Arthur Alexander) preheat oven to 300 degrees
pat roast dry and season with all spices

chop all vegetables
dust meat with flour and reserve all leftover flour
heat oil in Dutch oven (i.e. heavy iron pot with lid; any pot with handles that can stand being in an oven will do; over safe Correll or Corning Ware is fine too; key points are: that it can go into a hot oven and it has a lid)
brown meat on all sides, then remove from pot
saute vegetables, excepting garlic until they're translucent

add garlic and saute another 3 minutes
add all leftover flour
add some beef stock and deglaze pot
return meat (and any juices that have run out of it) to pot
add wine and enough beef stock to cover the top of the roast
add worchestershire sauce and bay leaf
cover pot and bake in oven for 90 minutes
flip roast and bake another 60 minutes

if you're making a pot roast, add some peeled carrots and potatoes for the last 30 minutes of cooking.

if youre making po'boys, flip roast again and bake another 45 minutes
carefully remove meat from pot
blend gravy with a hand blender (or toss it in a food processor) until it's entirely smooth
break up meat and mix with gravy
serve on French bread, baguette or toasted hoagie roll.

Mashed Potato Challenge

Hi! Here's another challenge I'd received and responded to a while ago and I post challenge and response for your further edification.

Dear Garbage Gourmet
What can I do with used mashed potatoes?

Dear Challenger:
Oh geez! like a bazillion different things!
1) Make em into patties, dip em in bread crumbs and pan fry em
If you find that your potatoes don't hold together well, you can beat up an egg, mix about 2/3 of it into your potatoes and mix together thoroughly. You can then dip each patty into the egg before dipping into bread crumbs.
I'd fry these in oil (just put in about a Tablespoon and swirl it around before you put in each patty or set of patties. If you save your bacon grease you can use that as well to add flavor.

You can also chop up about have an onion very fine and add that to your potatoes before forming them into patties. 2) Make a shepherd's pie
get yourself a pie pan
take a cup or two of leftover meat and chop up
mix with a cup of either frozen or already cooked vegetables - green peas, or chopped up carrots, etc.
add a can of some sorta creamed soup (whatever ya like: cream of mushroom, cream of onion, cheddar cheese)
pour all this into your pie pan
top with your mashed potatoes, spreading them out as evenly as you can manage
sprinkle with paprika to make it pretty

3) mix with 1 cup green peas, 1 Tablespoon curry powder and 1 cup sauteed onions and wrap in flour tortilla for a vague approximation of a Masala Dosai
4) mix with broth to make cream of potato soup, using 2 cups broth to 1 of potatoes
you can used canned broth, or bullion cubes and water
as potatoes are kinda bland be careful about your choice of broth as it's going to predominate in the final product.
SO - homemade vegetable broth which is good for making gazpacho or beet borsht as it's paired with other very strong flavors, might taste kinda green and yucky in potato soup.
Oh yeah, and you wanna make sure to make this absolutely smooth, so I'd suggest you beat the soup with a wire whisk or put it through a food processor.

Mango Salsa Challenge

Sorry for my long absence. Been really, really busy living life.
For now I'd like to post a couple challenges that have come my way of late.

Dear Garbage Gourmet

I have a challenge for the Garbage Gourmet. I made a big bowl of mango salsa for a party yesterday, then wound up not going to the party. This stuff is delicious but way too much for me to eat on chips. Any ideas?

Dear Challenger

Can ye tell me what ingredients you used in this salsa?
Most salsas have the same basic ingredients as: sauces and soups and final results depend on things like
1) do you then cook 'em and let 'em thicken?
2) add some more liquid and make it a cold OR hot soup

Dear Garbage Gourmet

It's mangoes, red onion, a little tomato, jalapeno, lime juice.
If it were a tomato salsa, I'd make tomato soup but this is very fruity and sweet.
I'm thinking it would taste good over vanilla ice cream or mango sorbet.
I might just try freezing some of it.

Dear Challenger
I've been to places that serve fruit salsas as part of a hot meal i.e. you'd serve it with sauteed or roasted chicken alongside rice. It'd likely work well with pork as well or fish, but I don't think the flavors harmonize with beef.
I'd suggest you freeze batches of it in smaller containers and use it up when it strikes you to rather than feeling forced to use it all up asap.
The ice cream idea is good - but ice cream is not something you wanna eat every night past a certain age.
Also if you cut it with vegetable broth (I'd think even parts). It'd make a nice gazpacho. Because it's fruity and sweet I think you'd want to eat this by the cup and not a big old bowl, but I think it'd be good.

Getting Up in Yr Grill

With the warm weather in full effect, an old man's fancy often turns to some sorta BBQing/grilling sort of deal-io. And honestly, there's not a lot of great ways to involve leftovers in such fare BUT there are some neat tricks to make the work easier and guarantee great results.

You'll probably be doing this on a weekend, so you wanna amp up the aspect of PARTY from the git go, so I'd recommend you add soundtrack right from the outset and I think that The Beach Boys' Today and Summer Days & Summer Nights is pretty reet. Lotta folks ballyhoo Pet Sounds but actually Brian Wilson already turned the corner from catchy but disposable surf pop into more sophisticated composing and ambitious (Phil Spector influenced) production on these two releases which preceded Pet Sounds PS these two albums had been re-issued on a single disc at one point and that's VERY MUCH RECOMMENDED.

ANYWAY - we're not big on salt, processed foods,etc. and this is our version of backyard cuisine:

*start with steaks - pick a cut where the budget vs. quality ratio is acceptable to yr pocketbook and tastebuds
Mrs. W. says that an average REASONABLE serving should be about the size of the palm of your hand
thickness can vary from 3/4" to 1 1/2" but if yr width is palm sized, these directions will work fine; if width is significantly larger, you'll have to adjust cooking time
fatty cuts ain't so good for yr cholesterol but are yummy; lean cuts clearly are somewhat healthier and have a more uniform texture
you start by covering your steaks in beer - I think dark beer adds an interesting hint of sweetness; we copped this concept from some pirated Outback recipe; they use Guiness, we use Yuengling - and let it marinate 4 hours or so. Do NOT marinate overnight! We did this by accident once and all the blood leached out and the steaks wound up tasting kinda bland
when you're ready to throw 'em on the grill, remove 'em from marinade, pat dry and you might dry-rub 'em. I use a Cajun Prime Rib rub taken from Paul Prudhomme: mix up 6 tsp salt, 6 tsp white pepper, 6 tsp ground fennel seeds, 5 tsp black pepper, 2 1/2 tsp dry mustard, 2 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper. This makes a nice sized batch that will last a number of grilling sessions. The beer tenderizes the meat nicely. If you DO get an especially gnarly cut you can also whack it with a meat tenderizing mallet (a couple bucks at most grocery stores)- I'd beat up both sides but WITHOUT flattening and spreading out the meat as you'd do with prepping for Southern Fried Steak.

About a half hour before you're ready to start grilling:
take a sweet potato for each person, prick multiple times on two sides; heat uncovered in microwave 7 minutes, flip over, giving 'em a squeeze to see if they're getting squishy - if they ARE, then nuke another 3 minutes, if NOT squishy, give em five; renuke further to get em squeezeable. DEFINITELY PUT EM ON A PLATE, coz they will ooze sticky juices; then put aside
take fresh corn on the cob and either:
nuke all you're going to grill for 7 minutes IN THE HUSK or
clean the corn, wrap the stack up in plastic (I kinda like using a plastic grocery that you fill and then tie up tight) and nuke the same amount of time
the difference is, when you wanna clean the corn - which crisp husk or soggy husk

When you're ready to start grilling, put the steaks, corn and potatoes all on at once,
for well done steaks you cook em 10 minutes on one side and 5 minutes on the other
for rare, you cook 'em 5 minutes on both sides

Remove steaks, turn all the vegetables. Eat steaks, savoring 'em at a leisurely pace.

Remove corn, turn potatoes. Eat corn -- which should be roasted, slightly charred, yet tender. Eat 'em up.

Remove potatoes - which are definitely going to be charred on the outside and creamy on the inside.

The idea here is that you're kinda recreating a restaurant eating experience and eating each course in turn, yakking, taking in libations and getting to appreciate each dish on its own terms rather than addressing a whole plate of varied foods all at once - which is cool but essentially a different experience. The actual WORK involved runs to the minutes. The amount of time the ritual is stretched out over should run a couple hours at least even without coffee and dessert tacked on the end.

So, this isn't actually garbage/i.e. leftovers but -- a couple pieces of meat, a can of beer, a couple yams, a couple ears of corn and something to grill on (our grill of choice is some little Weber kettle I lifted out of someone's garbage), a little strategic prep and you got yrself a fine Summer partay!

P.S. while we're talking lazy-boy cop-outs -- try mixing a shot of tecquila into a tumbler of pink lemonade or limeade -- I think you'll be shocked at how acceptable this tastes for something so effortless. And frankly such juicifications made from frozen store brand versions work pretty damned good. I KNOW gourmand snobs will turn up their noses...I'm glad you got the time and money to spare - but 'round here we got plenty weeding to do and pipes to be replaced in the basement!